Seeing Friends When You Have None

By none, I mean those without children... I was nineteen when I had Dexter and to some that is very young to have children. From a school age I only really had a small group of friends and I still do. After having Dexter I just locked myself away from the world and it took me a long long time to have the courage to go out to baby groups to meet other mums (I was literally dragged) but do you know what? Once I got there I was fine. I may have been holding my breath and feeling insecure for the first twenty minutes but I was so proud of myself for doing it! I'll be honest though, I've only come out with one or two friends who have children (I wish I had more - hello other mummys!). 

My Facebook is full of people around my age with children but I never really have the courage to offer to meet up for a play date or maybe even ask them for advice because despite it all I believe they won't want to! This brings me back to that old group of friends I've always had and can always rely on. 

Motherhood can feel very isolating at times. This may be because we, in some way, feel left out as we are the only ones with children (I know that's what worries me). I don't want to be the only friend to bring a pram to town or the only one who has to change a nappy in the middle of a coffee break but that is just the way it is. Don't get me wrong, I love spending my time with Dexter but it can be hard work when all you want to do is have a quick gossip with friends. Therefore I have decided that from now on I need to change the way I think my friends think, if that makes sense...

(My best friend Amy on the left and myself - I was lucky enough to get a weekend off Mummy duties to go to Leeds Festival 2013)

Friends love you and you love them for them - a child is just an extension of who you are. Therefore that friend will probably love that child too. How would you feel if your best friend had a baby and you didn't? Would you completely disown them and say "that's the end of that"? No. And I know I wouldn't either so why do I hammer into my head that I am just a burden to them? Of course they probably enjoy the baby free time but I bet they love the time spent with their best friends little ones too. This is why I think spending time away from your family and home is very good for your friendships. Even if it's going to the cinema, a meal or a girly sleepover it doesn't matter. It may be a long time between each time we get to see our friends now we've got a family or they have work commitments so we have to grasp these moments when we can. Annddd if all else fails and you can't get a baby sitter there's always the soft play area, they sell coffee for a reason...