A Letter To My Post Pregnancy Body

For today's post I was inspired by this A Fresh Look At Post Pregnancy Bodies. It's inevitable that after you've had a baby, you're going to look different and that's scary. I though't I'd write a letter to my body and tell it how I really feel.

Dear Body,

Firstly I would like to say thank you. Thank you for holding my baby for me for nine months and providing my baby with the nourishment they needed to grow. I know before my baby was there I never really looked after you, but you reminded me that needed to stop. 

Lee thought you were beautiful whereas I thought you were too chubby in the wrong places and too pale. I didn't like the way you were red on my face or how you were dry on my legs. I hated the way you would bruise so easily so I always looked like I'd been dragged through a hedge. My boobs were too big and uncomfortable - they made me feel self concious. My hair wouldn't grow fast enough and my nails were always short and stumpy. I didn't like my weird belly button and how I already looked pregnant when I wasn't. My bum is too flat, my head was too big (to fit in hats I liked).

But then I found out you'd started to grow my baby and all I wanted to do was nurture you and make you feel loved again. I'd started drinking more water and eating more fruit. I even cut down on chocolate just for you. Caffeine as well, although I still had my morning coffee but I was told that would be okay. Since you started growing my baby I wanted to make sure you got the treatment you deserved, I gave prenatal yoga a try but I won't lie - that didn't last long. I preferred walking anyway.

Your bump started getting bigger and bigger and as your skin stretched those 'dreaded' stretch marks showed up too. I bought some Bio Oil from the internet and started rubbing that on your ever expanding stomach and it did feel lovely but you were getting so big it wasn't doing much good. I couldn't believe it though, I'd never looked at you body, in such awe before. I was always feeling my stomach not believing how big it had gotten in such a short amount of time. 

(41 weeks pregnant)

After you'd amazingly helped me get my baby boy into my arms I was left with a post pregnancy belly (meaning I still looked pregnant, but somewhat saggy). The midwife told me to call some of the phone numbers I'd listed in case I was mourning my bump or wanted to talk more about my birth experience. But I just laughed it off. Who would miss being heavily pregnant? Me apparently. A few days after coming home I cried for my bump. I missed it. I had this lovely round belly that everyone saw. When I was pregnant I never felt self concious - I felt proud. Proud that my body was capable of growing a baby.

Two years on and I still have body hang ups like everyone else. I mean we are only a human. But now my boobs have shrunk again and my body is sort of deflated. I've lost the baby weight I'd put on you all those months ago. I tried the gym again and of course it didn't work. You never gave up on me through my anxiety. You stayed strong and kept me on my feet, kept me going through those long nights and days. I respect you for that, I was so harsh on you. Not eating much and pushing you to your limit. But you were there for me.

I still have those stretch marks, and they are fading now too. Although I don't really like them sometimes it is nice to think about how they got there, and what you did for me - body. You really are a great friend. I'm sorry I hate you so much sometimes. And I'm sorry I still pump you full of sugar (you can blame my sweet tooth for that one). But I'm learning to live with you. And accept you. There are much bigger things in this world to worry about.

Yours sincerely

Alice x 

When The Terrible Twos Gets Too Much

At two, children go through loads of changes. They may start nursery school, potty training or get a bigger bed. Sometimes it's hard to remember how big these changes are for them. Because as mums, we struggle. Today I thought I'd write about my experience with the terrible twos... 

Not eating their tea

Dexter isn't a fussy eater, he will try almost everything (apart from peas). So when I've made him something like pasta with tuna or even jacket potatoes and he down right refuses it - it is so frustrating. I often think: I know he's hungry, he isn't unwell, he likes it because he's had it before. So WHY aren't you eating it now!? It's hard to stay calm in these situations because you don't want to make them feel bad if there is an underlying situation but it's hard work when you go through so much hard working preparing it for them to just turn their nose up at it and go hungry. And then where do you go from there? I don't want to have to cook him something else because no doubt he will just turn his nose up at that too, but then I don't want him to go hungry either! Ahhhh!

Refusing to go in their pram

I'm all for Dexter walking places and getting exercise but when we really really need to be somewhere I ask him nicely to go in his buggy and explain the reason for it. Usually if I say we are going to Nana's or to go out for tea - he hops right in. But say it's just to get somewhere on time or because we are going on the bus he just turns into a plank. Some other mums may feel like me and want the ground to just swallow you up. You do get funny looks if your child screams out like you're torturing them or something. So you're trying your best to keep your cool, whilst wrestling a huge 2 year old into straps as they are shouting in your face. I can't say this is my favourite thing to do. But a mummy's gotta do what a mummy's got to do. I like to keep a banana or something snack like in my bag as a bribe. Naughty I know - but it does work. Dexter also cries when we have to get off the bus now too!

(Naughty pram bribe - but only at snack times!)

This one we probably all know 'I WANNNTTT'

Dexter just learnt to tell me when he wants something. This is good in ways like when he begins potty training he'll be able to tell me when he needs a wee - or maybe for telling me he wants a drink or something. But Dexter wants everything. He wants another biscuit, he wants a narna (banana), he wants a new car. Yeah he's allowed treats and I don't mind him telling me he wants things (because we all want something) but it's so hard to say no. I'm quite bad and usually give in - unless it's food he's after when he's just eaten. I guess you could say I like to spoil Dexter. There's nothing wrong with that but I need to get over it or I'm going to be left bankrupt. 

(He just had to have the Peppa house)

Crying at bedtime (or nap time)

We recently transitioned Dexter from a cot to a bed. It's the same bed, we just took the side off. And I was really surprised to see he took to it straight away. He loved it, and was always wanting to go to bed. Until one night it started. He got out 1000 times - it was like something from Super Nanny. After repeatedly putting him into bed without saying anything or giving him the attention I admitted defeat and stayed with him. Only for him to expect the same off me the next night and so on. Thankfully he realised once again that bed time is bed time. I'll never understand why children completely knacker themselves out then don't want to go to sleep. In 10 years time it'll all change, I'm sure.

Sharing

Dexter doesn't really like sharing so all I can put for this one is if you're having other toddlers to your house make sure you get allll the toys out to avoid the stress. Trust me if you haven't tried this already it's worth it - although they still always want what the other has got. I've seen an improvement with Dexter's moods over this since he started nursery but when he's on his own turf he likes his own stuff. Forever apologising to visitors for Dexter's temper tantrums over his toys - but hey, that's what kids are like I suppose.

Running around like a crazy person

I was allowing Dexter to walk on his reigns in town the other day as we were just popping to the bank. When he's walking he is very well behaved and doesn't try to run off, but as soon as we got in the bank all hell broke loose. He was swinging around on his reigns, pulling away, refusing to move. I know toddlers don't like to stand still, which is fine but then going back to the pram point - he wouldn't get in there either. I'm there trying to control my riot of a child whilst depositing money into my account. I got a fair few snotty looks but they've obviously never experienced a child at full energy so I will let them off. It's bloody tiring though! Haha.

(At the park blowing off some steam)

General refusal to do anything you tell them

I guess this is a given with parenting and won't end any time soon...

Crying and whining over everything

I hate seeing my little one upset but I get upset too when I just can't figure out what is wrong with him, if it's anything at all. I won't lie though - it's stressful for us mummy's too. We try and try to distract them, make them focus on something else or sing to them. Often it doesn't work so sometimes you just have to let them figure it out for themselves. Usually Dexter is like this when he's had a bad nights sleep but other times I really don't know.

All things considered the good times definitely weigh out the bad - how could I not resist his cheeky face when he tells me he's sorry and gives me a kiss? I know it's important to give your child independence at this age but it's also important to have a break from time to time. Two year old's are exhausting...