How I Deal With Stress & Anxiety

Yesterday's post was quite heavy hitting so today I thought I would do something a little bit more light hearted for my sake and yours. I'm the ultimate stress head and worrier (anxiety). Over the months I was being treated I learnt many ways of how to control and cope with my symptoms so I decided to share a few with you.

The Blob Man Tree

First things first, look at this tree of blob men (there's a link to download it below). You may recognise it as it seems to be quite well known online. 

(Download it here Blob Man Tree)

I was introduced to this at the start of my confidence building course through Sure Start. The idea is to colour in the blobs you best feel describe your feelings at the moment. For example, the man hanging on by a branch could symbolise your insecurity or the man facing the wrong way could show loneliness. You colour in as many as you want to show your feelings, but each man could symbolise something different to different people. I found it helpful as it was a way to get my feelings down on paper without going too in depth. Once I had completed the course, I had to colour another in - and it was very different. Some of them were the same like the man reaching out (it showed 'help me!' for me) but I also had added a man at the top on the shelf because I felt like I was half way on my journey to being at the top and happy again. 

It may be worth doing one of these every now and again so you can get a good look at how you're doing and access certain parts of your life that may be making you unhappy.

Hot Bubbles

This is baths of course. Everyone loves a good bath (or shower). I know this point is pretty self explanatory but we forget sometimes how therapeutic hot water can be for us. It relaxes our muscles and gives us time to think (or if you're anxious - time to forget everything). I recommend Radox Stress Relief. It's only about £1 but it does work. My mum has had Radox in the house for as long as I can remember... 

(Buy from Ocado)

Loud, Loud Music

I never really took to classical or whale songs to relax myself. When I'm feeling stressed I tend to whack on a bit of heavy metal or pop punk just so I can dance around like a loony and sing all the words. It does make me feel a hell of a lot better, especially if I have seen the band live (it takes me back to the moment). Dexter loves his rock music too now, so he doesn't mind having a little dance with me. At least at home nobody can see rubbish moves.  Haha. Apart from rock music I love Patrick Wolf; his voice just soothes me if having a good dance doesn't work - try Wind in the Wires or Stars if you're curious. 

(Source)

Join Happier

Some of the best advice I ever received was to write three positive things down every single day. It can be anything like 'being able to hang the washing out in the sunshine' or 'the baby went to bed well' - just anything at all that made you feel good. If you do this every day you'll start to feel more positive about the days ahead. Slowly as I was starting to become more positive, my three 'daily happy notes' were become better. I look back at the book now and the first months were very generalised things like 'I cleaned the house'. But then towards the end of them it became things like 'I feel good about myself' - that is a big step to take when you have depression. As many of you may know. 

(Source)

If pen and paper aren't your thing visit Happier.com (there's an app too!). There you'll be sent notifications so write your 3 happy moments, you can also share them with the world and view other peoples. Happiness all around basically!

And if all else fails...

I go and complain to my mum and get a big cuddle. I know some people may not be as close to their parents as I am, this may not be out of choice but anyone close to you can make you feel better. This can be by just listening to what you have to say - or even just giving you a hug. The amount of times I've ranted in text messages or over the phone would top the scale. But ears are there to listen - even if it is about how annoyed or upset you are.

If it's having children and not being able to cope that is making you upset then there's nobody better to ask than your mum or close family member. They've seen, felt and heard it all before so they'll be able to give you the best advice.

There is loads more I could put on this list such as breathing and sitting in the dark but I'll leave it at that and ask:

How do you cope with stress or anxiety?

Elmer by David McKee (Leaning Morals From Children's Books Pt.1)

Now this is a new concept I just seemed to come up with, so you'll have to stick with me and tell me honestly what you think. As you may know I study English and this has taught me to start reading between the lines in books. This is a good thing but I can't seem to switch off my academic mind, even when I am reading children's fiction. So. Here goes.

Yesterday Dexter, my mum and I went to the library to get some books out for Dexter's bedtime stories. I thought to get Elmer because I've heard of it but didn't actually remember the story.  Basically, if you don't either, it's about the patchwork elephant who wants to be the same as everyone else because he thinks the way he looks is why he's being laughed at. He decides to go on a journey across the jungle to rub berries on himself to make himself grey like everyone else. Dexter absolutely adored the book, it's got amazing bright colours and lovely rhyming text. So I highly recommend you read it to your little one if you haven't already. But, it's not just children who can take something from this story. 

(Find Elmer on Goodreads)

So, this is how I interpreted it and also maybe took something from it in a way. At the start of the book Elmer is happy because he can make all the elephants smile. This in a way could be when we were younger. We didn't care what we looked like, or who we were. We were happy if we could tell a funny joke or make someone laugh. Then Elmer becomes upset one night as he starts to think about himself and how different he is. This is typical behavior of say teenagers orrr adults. I always felt uncomfortable going into those baby groups that I mentioned earlier because I felt I looked different. I've got a few, quite big, tattoos and two piercings through my nose - it's rare at these places you see someone the same as you. Also I was a lot younger than any of the mums there and I felt they could have been judging me for the way I looked. So I guess that's one of the reasons I may have felt so nervous going, and avoided them at any cost. 

All the animals in the jungle would say hello to Elmer as he walked along because they recognized him, he was very different after all. But this was what made Elmer sad in a way. He was known as the joker, the funny one, the one who was different. Once he had made himself like everyone else (rolling in grey berries), he was pleased at first that people didn't recognize him. I believe in life, we do this when we are feeling insecure. We put on a front and try to fit in because we're too ashamed to talk about our emotions. This could be by putting on loads of make up and nice clothes to make yourself feel better, maybe even just trying too hard to fit in. Following trends, buying the same thing as someone else just to the same. Or even forcing a smile when you really don't feel like it. I know I'm guilty of a couple of those and I bet some other people are too. But in the end, none of the other elephants even noticed Elmer once he got back. 

(Source)

Elmer had started to realize the world was just grey and dull without him. He needed to do something so he reverted back to his old ways and do you know what? The other elephants celebrated him for that. We should all celebrate our weirdness from time to time and make sure we don't just cover it up when we're feeling alone or out of place. There is always someone who's willing to listen to you. And those people will care for you and appreciate you for you. Flaws and all. The world would be a boring place if we all had the same emotions and looked the same. And believe me you won't be the only one with that problem you may be having. So it's always best not to cover it up, and just celebrate it as a part of who you are.

Stop, Look and Listen

Today has been a pretty average Thursday for us. I collected Dexter from nursery at lunch time and we walked home in the rain. But, as we were walking along Dexter spotted the dandelion clocks growing in the grass outside. He told me there was a flower and went to pick one. I explained to him that he should blow on the flower to tell the time, so with a little attempt he tried and tried. In the end I had to show him and off the seeds flew. Dexter started saying 'snow, snow'. He was absolutely amazed at how these plants could produce a little flurry of something quite magical. That leads me to the point of today's entry...

Image Link

We all rush around each day from one place to the next, and I'm not saying I don't do this too but... if there is something I have learnt from having a two year old that everything in this world is magical. Each day I worry I'm not teaching Dexter enough, or that he doesn't get to explore as much as I'd like him too. This is in fact not the case at all. He learns something every day. He's so intrigued by everything and everyone. A little, what would be a weed to an adult, can be a massive discovery to a toddler about cause and effect. Or maybe a little ant on the floor, to us they're a nuisance (fair enough) but to them it's one of the most amazing things they can see. Something so tiny it can even fit on the end of their finger must be fascinating.  

(Dexter and his daisy)

When did we all stop noticing the world around us? Every day we walk past things and never really look. We could all learn something from children. Whether it's how to be accepting about everyone, never being judgmental or racist. Or even how to see at the world as though we've never seen it before. Have you ever just stopped, just to look at something for a little bit longer? Yeah, you may do this on holiday or on trips out but what about in every day life? One of the things I learnt whilst on a course to build up my confidence again after having Dexter is that we should just stop from time to time. Maybe to just smell the fresh air in the morning, to enjoy the warm water running through our hair in the shower or savoring that last bite of cake as though it'll be the last one you'll ever eat. I know I'm getting quite deep here and that some may think it's daft to enjoy these things in the moment but I personally believe it's important for our well being and enjoyment of life. 

If we stop noticing things completely our lives may just go by in a blur. We could wake up one day and stop being able to smell cut grass or take that morning stroll we've always took for granted. Yes, I am being quite morbid but it's about time I realized it's true. I can be very lazy sometimes and a trip to the shop can feel like I'm about to climb Everest but today I've realized I need to kick the habit of rushing around from task to task and just enjoy whatever life throws at me, just like Dexter does. Children of a young age don't really get the choice of what to do when it comes to daily routines but they take it and enjoy it (well, most of it apart from nappy changes and bedtime in Dexter's case). 

The proud face of my son when he's successfully lined up some cars can sometimes fill me with jealousy, he doesn't have a care in the world. We all wish life was easier sometimes and that we had less to worry about because it is bloody hard but we could take such simple steps to improve it. I think if we all thought like a two year old from time to time we'd appreciate what we've got a whole lot more...

Next time you're having a rough day or feeling a little low, just stop - look - listen. You'll be amazed. Learn something new, show it to someone else or write about it. Boast about what you've achieved, anything! Just do it if you enjoy it. So what if someone thinks you're strange for staring at a funny insect or smelling the flowers. You'll be feeling great and that's all that matters.